While we’re at the tail end of the holiday season, emotions can still run high because of the recent loss of a loved one or because of loneliness or economic troubles brought on by the recession. For those going through a New York divorce, the frustration can be even worse.
As we wind down 2011, whether celebrity or everyday citizen, divorce can be traumatic. We have seen celebrity splits in recent months of Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore, Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries, and Kobe Bryant and his wife. Those are only a few examples compared to the many “real-life couples” who have drifted apart in recent years, ending in a 2011 divorce filing.
While divorce can be an emotional roller coaster, it doesn’t have to be all bad. Preparation is key and attempting to have an amicable break-up can go a long way toward helping each spouse heal. When children are involved, that’s an additional element that must be considered in an effort for everything to work out over time.
A recent article in Lifegoesstrong.com looks at tips to help those who are going through a divorce at this time of year, when companies tell us to be jolly, lights are bright and families plan annual gatherings.
Charity begins at home: If you and your ex aren’t amicable, try to be during the holidays. Children are aware of the family’s split and talking bad about your ex to your children can cause deep roots.
Try to celebrate as a family: Try to provide a sense of continuity, for the children’s sake.
If possible, still give gifts as mom and dad: It reinforces the idea that you’re still a family, even if you’re split up.
Gifts for the kids: Communicate about gifts so there is no double-dipping, which can lead to a tug-of-war for attention.
Avoid gift guilt: Don’t spoil your children with gifts because you feel bad about the divorce. No expensive gift is going to change the fact that their world has been turned upside down.
Keep your emotions in check: The holidays can bring up bad memories and create emotion issues. Don’t engage with your children or ex in that state.
Separate holidays and the divorce: Don’t use holiday down time to hash out money issues, custody or other issues. Keep the holidays simple and keep the divorce proceedings or issues thereof separate.
Bad surprises: You may find out your ex has a new car, a new mate or your former in-laws are talking bad about you. Don’t take it out on your kids and try to shelter them by not bringing it up in front of them.
Emotions will run high: You may think you have it together, but you will stumble. Be prepared and take it in stride. It will happen.
Take a break: Use any downtime you have to relax and rejuvenate.
These are only tips and they may not completely apply to your situation, but they may help. If you are considering divorce, consult with an experienced Great Neck family law attorney who can help make the transition as smooth as possible.
The Law Offices of Ira S. Newman provides family law counsel in New York City, Long Island, Great Neck and throughout the area. Call 516-487-7375 or contact us through the website.
More Blog Entries:
Later-in-Life Divorce in New York Can Endanger Retirement: August 6, 2011
Divorce Diaries: Top 10 Holiday Survival Tips for the Newly Divorced, by Pamela Cytrynbaum, Lifegoesstrong.com